A conversation with a friend, another 40 something year old divorced female, has prompted this post. We were discussing our single lives and, along the way, wondering if we would ever find another partner. Is there just one person in the world for each of us? If you make the wrong choice the first time, do you get a second chance? Or has that moment disappeared forever?
Or, in my case anyway, is it just not less complicated to stay single? Do I really want to share my life with another person and, in the process, have to also share their life? Have I become too selfish to want to move back to one side of the bed instead of sleeping in the middle?
Speaking of beds, there is no doubt that I miss sex! That is number one on my list of things I miss in a relationship. There are times I would nearly (nearly) do anything to have some decent sex. But do I want to give up my independence and way of life in order to have sex? I don’t know. Sometimes I do and sometimes I would prefer to stay celibate.
But the question that neither my friend nor I could answer was when? If we were to be given a second chance, when would that happen? How long do we have to wait? How long before we just give up?
I’ve read the books and got the same advice from friends and acquaintances – when you stop looking you will find love. In that case I will be dead before my second chance comes knocking! I like looking. If I see an attractive male somewhere between the ages of “over the age of consent” and “one foot in the grave”, I will have a good look; sometimes a long look. And sometimes I might smile. So I can’t see me giving up looking any time soon.
I’m feeling pretty good about myself this year, even though I will soon turn 50. My social life is gathering speed, I’m making the attempt to get out and about and meet more people. I’ve got far more confidence than I did in my 20s or even in my 30s. But I still hesitate when I start thinking of seriously looking for another partner. Am I just strange? Or are there others like me somewhere out there?