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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Recurring dreams or nightmares

A couple of nights ago I had a dream, or perhaps a nightmare. While I was dreaming I realised it was a recurring dream, I just can’t remember the last time I dreamt it.


In the dream I was an abused wife. My husband would regularly beat me and verbally abuse me. I knew this even though it didn’t actually happen in my dream. Although I knew I should leave my husband, it felt impossible. It was as if I could take a step forward, but every step forward sent me two steps backwards. My husband was always watching me from the top of the driveway as I tried to reach the road. It was as if he knew that I knew that I wouldn’t get anywhere. I think he was holding a knife.

I couldn’t see the house. There was only a driveway and a sort of veranda next to it. Everything was quite grey. As characters we seemed to be dressed like the actors in Tennessee William’s play “A Streetcar Named Desire”.

In the end I resigned myself to the abuse and turned back to him, knowing he would kill me. I can’t describe the feeling I had while I was walking back up the driveway, seeing him coming closer. I wasn’t scared, just reluctantly accepting of the situation.

I woke up knowing this dream. I know I’ve dreamt it before, perhaps on more than one occasion. I wish I could remember where I was in my life the last time I dreamt it.

If I was to attempt to interpret this dream, I’d guess it has something to do with feeling stuck in my life at the moment. I’m in a job I’ve outgrown, but it’s a comfortable rut, so to speak. I should move onto something else but, although I often look at other jobs, I never take any other action, always reluctantly returning to the one I have.

I don’t think it has anything to do with my personal life. I’m not in a relationship, my boys and I get on well – in fact I rarely see them on weekends as they are always out socialising.

When I was a child I had a recurring nightmare that scared me. I was walking toward a house that looked like the one the Munsters lived in. It was a dark and stormy night (of course) with lightning flashing. I walked up to the front door and opened it (why?). The front door opened directly to a staircase and I walked up it (again, why?). At the top of the staircase was another doorway. I would put my hand on the door handle knowing that if I opened the door I would die.

I always woke up before I opened the door but I would be so scared that my entire body was stiff and I could hardly breathe. I knew I just had to wriggle a finger to be able to move my body again but it took such a long time for me to get the courage to wriggle my finger.

I stopped having that nightmare when I was about 12 but I still remember it vividly.

12 comments:

  1. That is a very interesting dream. I'm glad that you realized it was a dream when you were sleeping. I think your interpretation holds a lot of truth. Sounds like you get these dreams at times when you are ready for a change.

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  2. fear slips in when we are sleeping and scares the pants off us.....just reading this made me scared! I have had dreams that scared me so bad that I can't move too. WTF? must mean something.....

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  3. Dreams are very interesting to me. I have heard through facebook that many people are having strange dreams. I too have been having them. Be sure to write them down!

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  4. Oh, very interesting dream and interpretation. You are probably right. I have a job I don't dislike, but sometimes it feels a little stifling because I know I don't have it in me to look for another ever again, because the only thing my HEART wants to do is WRITE. I can't sell myself to something I don't really want... so hopefully this one will stay fine for at least several more years as I try to make it (and my husband goes to nursing school so he can take over as primary income and insurer...)

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  5. Whatever the reason....it is an awful feeling to wake up from a dream like that one. I have a dream occasionally about my past life and am trying to get away from it...I hate to relive it and wake up so thankful to be where I am!

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  6. I ironically would love to live in the Munster's house.

    But, your nightmare, do you remember seeing the man from it anywhere else? I think the emotions you were feeling in this case are more important then the actual actions in the dream.

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  7. Marnie - it was interesting. I guess I have to look for ways to change!

    mermaid - I hope it means something and I can figure out what, cos I don't want to have it again!

    gayle - why do you think many people are having strange dreams at the moment?

    Hart - I'm with you - I just want to write too!

    nanny - it is awful when you have a recurring dream like that.

    Domestic - lol! Of course you would! I don't remember seeing the man at any other time than in my dream. The emotions were fear, reluctance and resignation. I'll have to think about that.

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  8. I rarely remember my dreams, but I don't think I would want to remember these ones. Too scary.

    It's a good thing you realised it was a dream even as you were dreaming it.

    When you questioned why you would feel inclined to open the door or climb the staircase, it made me laugh.

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  9. Shelly - they were a bit scary, I'm just glad I don't have them often. I wish I could question myself in my dreams!!! lol

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  10. Dreams have always intrested me. Especially when I have a real crazy one I wonder where it came from, why did I dream that?

    Cna you lucid dream? Sometimes I can, sometimes I do things in my dream knowing it's just a dream - things I would NEVER do in real life. lol

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  11. Yikes! I never remember my dreams. It is just not a gift I have.

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  12. Martha - I think this dream was like that - I knew it was a dream but it still scared me!

    Kazzy - I don't often remember them, but sometimes they are very vivid.

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