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Sunday, March 13, 2011

OK Universe - I'm ready now - bring it on!

For the last six years I’ve been dateless. Not only have there been no men on my horizon, I wasn’t even looking for any. My last break up was devastating enough to keep me from getting burnt again. I always enjoyed the company of men in many ways but the last few years I’ve been building such thick barriers around myself it’s been difficult to see the world around me, let alone allow anyone to see me.

However last week I felt that barrier start to crumble. Perhaps the recent earthquakes have undermined its structure. Whatever happened, I’m beginning to feel like being with a man again.

Before anyone out there gets too excited, I still don’t know if I’m ready for a committed, full on relationship. At the moment I wouldn’t know where to fit one in. It would have to be scheduled into my calendar somehow and I daresay that’s not the way to conduct a relationship. I could do with some full on sex though. Actually I’m not sure how I’ve managed to go without it for so long! I read in magazines and articles how women just don’t like sex and I wonder who they have been interviewing because they definitely have never asked me!

Now that I’m ready to start looking for men again, I don’t know what the next step is. Where do I go to look? What do I do next?

As a 50 something female not only do I not want to go out alone, but I wouldn’t know where to go. My taste in nightlife has changed so much since I was in my teens and twenties and I have no idea if anything even exists for the older single woman. I’m also not sure if I’d be attracted to the men who might prowl through there. I’ve tried dating sites in the past and, apart from being a scrooge and not wanting to spend money just to read someone’s misspelled email, I’ve been very disappointed with the men on these sites. Take for example the time I put a profile up where I said I wasn’t interested in camping, fishing or any other outdoor activity – you guessed it, I only got interest from men who camped, fished and hiked through the great outdoors! I am sure none of them could read, or bothered reading the profiles.

I admit it, I’m fussy. I expect a man to look good physically. After all I take pride in the way I look so why shouldn’t they? I make an effort to exercise and eat healthily in order to stay slim, so why shouldn’t they? I try to wear clothes that suit me and are vaguely in fashion, so why shouldn’t they? Oh and I really like nice arms with muscles – mmmmmm.

I also expect a man to be reasonably intelligent. I’m not looking for Einstein, but I would appreciate someone who could converse on global events rather than be limited to the latest sports report. I love certain sports too, but I’m also interested in the situation in Libya and the economic happenings in Europe. I want to debate with someone on those three subjects one should never argue about – politics, religion and sex. I enjoy intellectual stimulation – I find it sexy.

I’ve also had enough of men who are poor. I want someone who can afford to wine and dine me. They don’t need to be a millionaire (but hey, I wouldn’t turn them away) but they do need to have some means themselves.

So where do I start looking? Cmon Universe – give me a hand here!


  1. Sorry, Sunshine. I married him.

    And you know the saying.. they're all married or gay.
    But good luck!
    * wink *

  2. Cassandra, some might consider that you're asking the impossible. I don't think so - he's out there somewhere, love, and I sincerely want you find him. Let me know when you do and I'll throw a party at this side of the pond :-))

  3. What you say about dating sites is so true, but that's where I met my husband. It took many many frogs to meet my geeky-boy.

    I had a system if you are interested and yes, I weeded through many many bad emails and went on quite a few bad date-zeros (I called the first date date-zero cuz it really wasn't a date).

    The key is a well-written upbeat profile (shouldn't be hard for you!) patience, weed out the crap, listen with your head and not your heart, and date like a mad-woman. I'm serious. I used to limit myself to 3-4 dates a week because it can get overwhelming. I never ignored any red flag because if a guy waves a flag on the first date, he's got dozens more back home in his closet.

    My profile didn't list any of my dislikes or likes; it simply listed funny stuff about me because you are right, men do not read the profiles too carefully.

    They are attracted to the photo you have on your profile - then they skim through the written part. The funny bit I had in my profile was always a talking point on the first phone call (if it got that far).

    Oh dear! I went on and on!

    But totally write me if you care to hear more. I'm a pro! lol

  4. I'm married but if something happened to my husband I wouldn't know where to start either. I would probably try dating sites,church and maybe coffee houses. Good luck and keep us posted.

  5. I wish you all the luck....I wouldn't know where to start except to get out and go many different places. Stay in contact with people and maybe Mr. Right will be there waiting!

  6. Jamie - damn! Well at least I know he exists!

    Leah - thank you! Can I come to the party?

    Deborah - maybe I should hire you to be my dating manager???

    gayle - I will keep you posted for sure.

    nanny - thank you. Hopefully I trip over Mr Right somewhere...

  7. I think breaks from dating bring us closer to being ready for the right person. Good for you. Also, I died laughing at "I could do with some full on sex though." I think we should put that on a tee shirt. lol.

  8. Maybe your just looking in the wrong places?
    If you were scarred on your last encounter then taking things slowly is the only course for you to sail.
    Drop me line , i can point out a few places to look...;)
    I also like Summers idea for a tshirt!

  9. Summer - I'm not sure I would actually wear a tshirt like that, but go for it!!!

    Gaz - I haven't really been looking up til now. Feel free to point out places to look. I've lived in Melbourne on and off since 1983, but I'm sure I don't know all the nightlife!

  10. I think friendliness is important. I'm happily married but still friendly to everybody and I'm always meeting nice men...then make them laugh...we all want to have fun!

  11. honestly, when i was single i WOULD hit the bars alone, even though i hated it.

    i would sit and have a drink, and i made a deal with myself that if no one came up to talk to me by 11, i would leave.

    i left at 11 many times, but i also had many good nights that came from it.

  12. I don't have any insight to offer, but I think your criteria ar spot on. Those are the things that make me happy too. Best of luck.

  13. I did not read everyone's comments so if someone mentioned this sorry for the repeat.... Plenty of Fish. It's a 100% free dating site.
    But, I hear ya on only getting guys who are the opposite of what I am looking for. I like guys between 28-34, short (under 5'11) dark short spiky hair who are big readers and not bar guys.
    What do you think I get emailed by... men in their 50's and 60's who are all over 6 foot tall.
    You're beautiful, you shouldn't have any issues finding a guy.

  14. I support you all the way, and please don't let my posts scare you out of on-line dating. In fact, maybe we can commiserate about it - if we both default to that.

  15. mermaid - I think you are right. Being able to laugh with someone is also important.

    Slyde - just my opinion, but it looks better for a man to be alone in a bar at night than a woman. At least thats how I feel and, especially as I'm over 50, I feel like a fish out of water when I go out to bars and such on my own.

    Kazzy - thank you! I've got other criteria too (like good personal hygiene...) but they are my main ones.

    Domestic - I will definitely look into Plenty of Fish. I think you and I need to exchange the guys who reply to us cos I want the tall more mature ones and I keep getting the short lil ones!

    Robyn - Thank you! I promise I won't let your posts scare me. When we are old and blogging from our rocking chairs, we can exchange some good tales!

  16. Couldn't find your email address so i resorted to posting it.
    Lavalife (not sure of the number - check the Herald Sun) is a phone line service that you record a message that others respond to. Cost nothing for the ladies.
    Oasis Active online. Free with a chat room so you can exchange messages without giving up an addy or number.
    Been a memeber of both with mixed success.
    Hope that helps?

  17. Gaz - thank you! I was on Oasis Active for a bit and thats where I managed to attract men who liked camping and fishing and four wheel driving - all of which I hate! lol I've heard of Lavalife, but will look into it further.

  18. Yes absolutely! It is your turn and you deserve only the best! I relate A LOT with this post...I am sending hugs your way!


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