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Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Meeting the Girlfriend

This weekend I get to meet my eldest son’s girlfriend for the first time. They are coming to the football with me and my youngest son.

It’s a bit daunting to meet a girlfriend. I never know what to say or do. If I say the wrong thing I could either embarrass my son or alienate both of them!

I get the impression that my boys are often embarrassed by me. I admit I can be a bit eccentric, but I stand up for my right to be what I want to be in my own home! The other day my youngest son brought a friend home who I hadn’t met before. What did he expect walking in during the last three minutes of an incredibly exciting football game where my team was hanging onto the lead? Did he expect a docile female sitting quietly to watch her favorite team, currently fifteenth on the ladder beat a team in the top four?

What he got was excita-Mom! There I was jumping up and down, yelling at the television, only diverting my attention for a moment to open the front door for them. As the final siren went I flung my arms around my youngest son’s neck with joy (luckily he was the closest one to me). I paused for a moment to greet his friend and then proceeded to do a happy dance to my team’s song. What’s wrong with that?

I’m a social creature and I enjoy meeting my sons’ friends. They are most welcome to come to our house any time. I’m happy to have them stay for a meal, as long as I get a bit of warning. It can be a culinary nightmare to try to stretch meals designed for a set amount of people. Just how far can one steak stretch? Luckily I usually cook large meals based on either pasta or rice as all of us take leftovers to work and/or school the next day.

I’ve been trying to remember what it felt like to meet the parents of boyfriends. I do remember going out with one guy who rode a motorbike. The night I first met his parents I was still trying to take my helmet off as I walked through the screen door. Yes, through the screen door as opposed to opening it first! I guess I haven’t changed very much over the years.

My ex husband didn’t officially introduce me to his parents. They lived on a farm and the first time I went with him to meet them he left me sitting at the back door while he went to see his father in the dairy. I sat there for quite awhile until his mother came home and found me.

Back to meeting the girlfriend. It’s probably a good thing that we are meeting at the football. The game will give us something to talk about. I think we are going to go out for a drink and some food afterwards. It should be a nice afternoon.


  1. The girl will be ever so much more nervous than you are. You'll do great and I bet your boys are secretly glad you're not a 'regular' mom. That would be boring!

  2. As a young girl I was terrified of anybody's parents but meeting my boyfriend's parents actually turned me into a mute, red faced wreck. I really don't know why I was so scared of them. Just put her at ease and everybody will be happy.....

  3. I have two girls and the boys that came to my house were warned about me before hand. ( something about being a short 5'2" french woman who's ok... as long as you don't piss her off )
    lol I had many a boy pass my threshold with a look of terror on his face.

    Took me 10 years to win over my MIL. Two strikes against me. 1) this was her first born, her 'baby'. 2) she knew he felt differently about 'this girl'.

    So I say to you, short of her being tattooed head to toe, piercings in odd places and showing up at your door with a cigarette hanging out the side of her mouth, keep an open mind. ;-)

  4. I still do not bring boyfriends home. I made that mistake once when I was 15 and never again.

    Your football cheers and happy dance, sound like me watching wrestling. No one likes to be in the same room with me when I'm watching wrestling, I too scream at the television and react that way.

  5. Sounds like you are a pretty cool mom! :)

  6. Sounds good. You don't sound embarrassing at all!! I know I do embarrass my kids but you know what, THEIR friends LOVE me, so neener neener. I am always begged to go on field trips and such. They are still young, perhaps I should tone it down though.. wink.. I have always wanted to hang out with you.. ;}

  7. Oh man, I was so nervous when I met my boyfriend's parents. I was worried they were thinking, "Ugh, what's with the chick with the bad hair?"

  8. Deborah - I can only hope she is more nervous than I am!

    Susan - I'm not that good at the "at ease" bit, but I'll try!

    Jamie - I'm pretty sure she doesn't have mega tatoos or piercings!

    Domestic - I too learnt never to bring boyfriends home. It was just easier that way.

    Martha - thank you!

    Seductress - you can come over and hang out any time you want! :-)

    Whispering - lol! I'm always nervous when I meet new people.

  9. You wait until I insist she meets me

  10. just wanted o stop back ad tell you I appreciate makig a comment on my blog some wonders of life. I've read soe of your posts. I remember meeting my son's future wife and feeling nervous and was she a good person. I had no problems and they eventually married. Being yourself is important when you meet someone, don't pretend, that will show up. have a good day.

  11. I always hated meeting the boyfriend of my girls!! Hard to know what to say! Good luck this weekend!

  12. I think you will be sound like a very interesting lady and the love of sports should thrill young people....
    Good Luck!

  13. My mom is. . .something else entirely. I knew my fiance was someone I should keep around when Mom was at the dinner table and burst out into song (as she often does) and he didn't even react.

  14. You're going to be great!!! Let us know how it goes!

  15. You will do just great - enjoy meeting her and enjoy the game! I so pity the boys my daughter eventually brings home as already, even though she is only three, my husband is muttering about getting a gun (he has never owned or even been near one in his life) and following her on every date night. Oh dear :-)

  16. Yeah, it is a bit awkward. My oldest is proposing tonight. I am all butterflies today. :)

  17. Just now dropping in to say hi (sorry, several days and dollars short!) after your comment.

    Haven't had to meet any girlfriends yet (thank you God!) (unless you count the one - but she lived like three states away - so I think she didn't count) but I know it's coming.....can you hear me chewing my fingernails from there?

    But I have to think, it must be far more nerve-wracking for her than it will be for me.....I hope.

  18. I bet she was as nervous about meeting you as you were about meeting her. At least your not boring.

  19. Rose - I will be myself - I just hope she likes me!

    gayle - thank you!

    nanny - thank you! perhaps I'm a tad too interesting for my boys... lol

    Sarah - sounds like you made a good choice!

    Betty - I'll be sure to post about it.

    Mommy - your comment made me laugh out loud! I'm sure I'll enjoy the game - hopefully I'll enjoy the whole day.

    Kazzy - Ooooo! Good luck to both of you!

    Gigi - thank you for dropping in! I have a feeling its nerve wracking for everyone!

    Gaz - haven't met her yet - Sunday is the day. I hope I'm not boring :-)

  20. I met my husband's mother at the airport as I landed in New Zealand for the very first time--after being separated from him by thousands of kilometres for six months (We met in Canada). He planned on meeting me at the airport, and neglected to let his mum know, so she turned up too, just in case. Not the reunion I was expecting and not the first time meeting with his mum I was hoping for--jetlagged, dishevelled and smelly from a 24-hour journey.

    I am dreading meeting the girlfriends of my boys once they start arriving on the scene. I think none of them will be good enough for my boys. ;-)

    Thanks for coming by my blog. I'm happy to meet you!

  21. You sound like a very cool mom who has nothing to worry about. Keep us posted, and have a great weekend.

  22. And if they think you're weird, so what. My kids know I am the strangest mother of the lot, and they roll their eyes with the best of them. Yet, let someone else make a crack about my behavior and WATCH OUT!! Glad your team won, btw.

  23. The only boyfriend my parents met is now my fiance. Though it was a bit awkward because we had only officially been dating a day and my parents are like "Oh well you must be going to marry him since we're meeting him."

  24. It blows my mind to think of someday meeting my boy's girlfriend. Wow! Weird. I think that if you are personable, and it sounds like you are, that is all it takes. Nothing worse than trying to make conversation with your boyfriend's mom who is quiet and hard to talk to!

  25. Tropical Mum - wow! what a way to meet the mother-in-law! I'm happy to meet you too!

    Robyn - I'm far from cool - possibly eccentric though :-)

    Ashleigh - Unfortunately my team didnt win, but I'm used to that :-)

    Secrets - LOL! the things parents say...

    Kristy - I have to admit when my boys were as young as yours is, I didn't even think of them having girlfriends!

  26. Hi Cassandra!

    You seem like such a fun person and mom! I bet it takes guts to be your eccentric self in front of your son since offspring tend to be put-off so easily. Then they spring! I just decided this is how the term "offspring" came to be.

    You kind of remind me of myself, never censoring yourself for anyone. I take back what I said about that requiring guts as I think it is harder to subdue excitement and be someone you aren't.

    Flamboyance or eccentricity -- whatever you want to call it -- is your gift to the world. I love when my mom is crazy and fun. My friends joke around with her and speak very openly with her because of her strong character. I hope someday soon your kids will see it that way too!

    Personally, the embarrassment of older people has only really come through if they've tried too hard to be cool or to win me and others over. But you know why that's embarrassing? Because it's false and contrived. Not you, though. You're real!



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