My son takes good photos!
Except when he tells me there's a bug crawling up my leg...
So, now I'm just waiting to go to the reception...
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
My online dating experiences or “How to attract losers 101”
Kiki’s comment on my last post made me think about sharing my online dating experiences with you.
For years I’ve communicated with people on the internet, first through Yahoo chat rooms, then MSN, then My Space and now Facebook. So I’m not averse to online communication. In fact there are a couple of people I met on Yahoo chat over 10 years ago that I still chat with on Facebook or email.
I also have two friends who are in long term, loving relationships that began online. One of them met her husband in a Yahoo chat room on my computer. It was the first time she had ever gone into Yahoo chat and he was the first person to contact her! I went to their wedding six years ago and I love them and their two beautiful children. My other friend met her partner in an online dating site – I think it was RSVP. They have now been together for a few years and seem very happy.
I wish I had such good experiences.
Last year, after much thought, I decided I was ready to date again. After all it was five years after the break up of my last intense relationship and ten years after the end of my marriage. I was encouraged by my friends and the two stories above, to try online dating sites.
Now I do have to watch my budget and there isn’t much left after pay day to throw around, so I chose sites that were free. I put up what I thought was a fine, slightly witty description of me, filled in all the blanks and sat back and waited for the replies. The one exception I made was to join eHarmony – the free bits only.
I have to add one thing here – in my description and also in all the blanks I had to complete, I stated very clearly that I do not like fishing, camping or outdoor activities. I wrote that I am a city girl; I like 5 star hotels, gourmet dinners, fine wine, intelligent conversation, cultural happenings and intellectual debates. My music of choice is fairly eclectic, but I do not like country music, grunge or heavy metal. I also made it clear that, as I’m tall, wear heels and feel uncomfortable with shorter men, I’m looking for someone at least 6’1” or taller.
I got replies. I got plenty of replies over the next few months. There was only one problem with all of the replies. Not one of them could read! Or maybe they didn’t bother to read. One is just as bad as the other.
The men who replied to me all enjoyed fishing, they loved camping and spent most of their day in the great outdoors. Not one of them liked gourmet dinners or fine wine. They preferred to slurp on cans of beer and chomp on burnt barbequed sausages. They were also all either country music fans or into heavy metal. As if that wasn’t bad enough, not one of them was over 5’11” in height! I kid you not!
By December last year I had had enough. I took down all my profiles and unsubscribed from all my accounts. I’m sure online dating has worked for many people, but there really has to be another way for me!
For years I’ve communicated with people on the internet, first through Yahoo chat rooms, then MSN, then My Space and now Facebook. So I’m not averse to online communication. In fact there are a couple of people I met on Yahoo chat over 10 years ago that I still chat with on Facebook or email.
I also have two friends who are in long term, loving relationships that began online. One of them met her husband in a Yahoo chat room on my computer. It was the first time she had ever gone into Yahoo chat and he was the first person to contact her! I went to their wedding six years ago and I love them and their two beautiful children. My other friend met her partner in an online dating site – I think it was RSVP. They have now been together for a few years and seem very happy.
I wish I had such good experiences.
Last year, after much thought, I decided I was ready to date again. After all it was five years after the break up of my last intense relationship and ten years after the end of my marriage. I was encouraged by my friends and the two stories above, to try online dating sites.
Now I do have to watch my budget and there isn’t much left after pay day to throw around, so I chose sites that were free. I put up what I thought was a fine, slightly witty description of me, filled in all the blanks and sat back and waited for the replies. The one exception I made was to join eHarmony – the free bits only.
I have to add one thing here – in my description and also in all the blanks I had to complete, I stated very clearly that I do not like fishing, camping or outdoor activities. I wrote that I am a city girl; I like 5 star hotels, gourmet dinners, fine wine, intelligent conversation, cultural happenings and intellectual debates. My music of choice is fairly eclectic, but I do not like country music, grunge or heavy metal. I also made it clear that, as I’m tall, wear heels and feel uncomfortable with shorter men, I’m looking for someone at least 6’1” or taller.
I got replies. I got plenty of replies over the next few months. There was only one problem with all of the replies. Not one of them could read! Or maybe they didn’t bother to read. One is just as bad as the other.
The men who replied to me all enjoyed fishing, they loved camping and spent most of their day in the great outdoors. Not one of them liked gourmet dinners or fine wine. They preferred to slurp on cans of beer and chomp on burnt barbequed sausages. They were also all either country music fans or into heavy metal. As if that wasn’t bad enough, not one of them was over 5’11” in height! I kid you not!
By December last year I had had enough. I took down all my profiles and unsubscribed from all my accounts. I’m sure online dating has worked for many people, but there really has to be another way for me!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Staying Single
A conversation with a friend, another 40 something year old divorced female, has prompted this post. We were discussing our single lives and, along the way, wondering if we would ever find another partner. Is there just one person in the world for each of us? If you make the wrong choice the first time, do you get a second chance? Or has that moment disappeared forever?
Or, in my case anyway, is it just not less complicated to stay single? Do I really want to share my life with another person and, in the process, have to also share their life? Have I become too selfish to want to move back to one side of the bed instead of sleeping in the middle?
Speaking of beds, there is no doubt that I miss sex! That is number one on my list of things I miss in a relationship. There are times I would nearly (nearly) do anything to have some decent sex. But do I want to give up my independence and way of life in order to have sex? I don’t know. Sometimes I do and sometimes I would prefer to stay celibate.
But the question that neither my friend nor I could answer was when? If we were to be given a second chance, when would that happen? How long do we have to wait? How long before we just give up?
I’ve read the books and got the same advice from friends and acquaintances – when you stop looking you will find love. In that case I will be dead before my second chance comes knocking! I like looking. If I see an attractive male somewhere between the ages of “over the age of consent” and “one foot in the grave”, I will have a good look; sometimes a long look. And sometimes I might smile. So I can’t see me giving up looking any time soon.
I’m feeling pretty good about myself this year, even though I will soon turn 50. My social life is gathering speed, I’m making the attempt to get out and about and meet more people. I’ve got far more confidence than I did in my 20s or even in my 30s. But I still hesitate when I start thinking of seriously looking for another partner. Am I just strange? Or are there others like me somewhere out there?
Or, in my case anyway, is it just not less complicated to stay single? Do I really want to share my life with another person and, in the process, have to also share their life? Have I become too selfish to want to move back to one side of the bed instead of sleeping in the middle?
Speaking of beds, there is no doubt that I miss sex! That is number one on my list of things I miss in a relationship. There are times I would nearly (nearly) do anything to have some decent sex. But do I want to give up my independence and way of life in order to have sex? I don’t know. Sometimes I do and sometimes I would prefer to stay celibate.
But the question that neither my friend nor I could answer was when? If we were to be given a second chance, when would that happen? How long do we have to wait? How long before we just give up?
I’ve read the books and got the same advice from friends and acquaintances – when you stop looking you will find love. In that case I will be dead before my second chance comes knocking! I like looking. If I see an attractive male somewhere between the ages of “over the age of consent” and “one foot in the grave”, I will have a good look; sometimes a long look. And sometimes I might smile. So I can’t see me giving up looking any time soon.
I’m feeling pretty good about myself this year, even though I will soon turn 50. My social life is gathering speed, I’m making the attempt to get out and about and meet more people. I’ve got far more confidence than I did in my 20s or even in my 30s. But I still hesitate when I start thinking of seriously looking for another partner. Am I just strange? Or are there others like me somewhere out there?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The joys of cooking, every day
At lunch time today I got a text message from my eldest son “any ideas for meals cos I don’t know what to cook”. (Remember he's the one who's moved out).
I must admit I laughed.
My reply started with “Welcome to my world!”
I find the most tedious thing in my life is trying to decide what to cook and before that, trying to decide what to buy in order to cook. I need easy, fast, simple recipes that everyone in the family will eat. I don’t like cooking the same thing all the time because my taste buds get bored. There are just so many times I can have spaghetti bolognaise before it gets “blah”.
Of course finding recipes that all of my boys will eat can be a challenge, especially when it comes to my middle son. He won’t eat eggs, chicken, fish or mushrooms. There go half the easy, quick, simple recipes I like! The other challenge is keeping the grocery shopping within budget. I would love to eat sushi three times a week, but it just isn’t going to happen!
I have my staples. The meals I fall back on time and time again like the afore mentioned spaghetti bolognaise. We also regularly have schnitzel, homemade hamburgers, homemade pizza, macaroni cheese, ravioli and sometimes steak. But I really do get bored both cooking and eating the same things. Now that my eldest son has moved out I’ve added lasagne to the list. He wouldn’t eat it as he’d had a bad experience with it once. My youngest son is pretty good with food, he eats just about anything.
Grocery shopping has become a weekly nightmare. I have been known to stare blankly at an empty piece of paper hoping the shopping list will write itself. Or I will jot down all the cleaning items I need, but then falter when it comes to the food. Eventually I will write down the easy bits – bread, milk, butter, cheese and whatever fruit we need. Then I will turn the page over and start to plan meals for the week. I write “spaghetti bolognaise” and then it all gets too hard and I quit.
I think if I were ever to be enormously wealthy I would either eat out a lot, or hire a personal chef to do all that thinking for me!
I must admit I laughed.
My reply started with “Welcome to my world!”
I find the most tedious thing in my life is trying to decide what to cook and before that, trying to decide what to buy in order to cook. I need easy, fast, simple recipes that everyone in the family will eat. I don’t like cooking the same thing all the time because my taste buds get bored. There are just so many times I can have spaghetti bolognaise before it gets “blah”.
Of course finding recipes that all of my boys will eat can be a challenge, especially when it comes to my middle son. He won’t eat eggs, chicken, fish or mushrooms. There go half the easy, quick, simple recipes I like! The other challenge is keeping the grocery shopping within budget. I would love to eat sushi three times a week, but it just isn’t going to happen!
I have my staples. The meals I fall back on time and time again like the afore mentioned spaghetti bolognaise. We also regularly have schnitzel, homemade hamburgers, homemade pizza, macaroni cheese, ravioli and sometimes steak. But I really do get bored both cooking and eating the same things. Now that my eldest son has moved out I’ve added lasagne to the list. He wouldn’t eat it as he’d had a bad experience with it once. My youngest son is pretty good with food, he eats just about anything.
Grocery shopping has become a weekly nightmare. I have been known to stare blankly at an empty piece of paper hoping the shopping list will write itself. Or I will jot down all the cleaning items I need, but then falter when it comes to the food. Eventually I will write down the easy bits – bread, milk, butter, cheese and whatever fruit we need. Then I will turn the page over and start to plan meals for the week. I write “spaghetti bolognaise” and then it all gets too hard and I quit.
I think if I were ever to be enormously wealthy I would either eat out a lot, or hire a personal chef to do all that thinking for me!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Dress Up Blues continued
Or should I say there are no more dress up blues! I went shopping this morning at one of my favorite shopping places in Melbourne – Bridge Road in Richmond. It is a long shopping strip with designer dress shops, factory outlets, shoe shops, suit shops and lingerie shops all dotted with cafes, restaurants and bars.
I had done my homework as I knew I wouldn’t have much time. No matter how good my intentions are, I always find it difficult to get up early on a weekend and the shops on Bridge Road mostly close around lunch time on a Saturday. I went online, checked out the fashion stores and picked a couple I wanted to go to.
I was lucky with my first attempt. Not only did I like the clothes, but the sales lady was great. She wasn’t too pushy and gave me an honest opinion. It’s not often you get a sales person who tells you that one of their pieces of clothing doesn’t look quite right on you! With her help I found a lovely skirt and top that is sort of like a sleeveless waistcoat. I just have to find a black lacy camisole to wear under it and all will be well!
I’m so happy I found something that fits and doesn’t make me look either old or fat. If my son comes back home soon with his camera I will see if I can put some photos up here. I can’t find any online to show you!
The rest of my day has been spent doing the laundry and cleaning the house. How exciting is that? But later this afternoon I’m going to visit my ex boss who is also a friend, so that will be nice.
And tomorrow… well, I have no plans at the moment. We will see what the day brings.
I had done my homework as I knew I wouldn’t have much time. No matter how good my intentions are, I always find it difficult to get up early on a weekend and the shops on Bridge Road mostly close around lunch time on a Saturday. I went online, checked out the fashion stores and picked a couple I wanted to go to.
I was lucky with my first attempt. Not only did I like the clothes, but the sales lady was great. She wasn’t too pushy and gave me an honest opinion. It’s not often you get a sales person who tells you that one of their pieces of clothing doesn’t look quite right on you! With her help I found a lovely skirt and top that is sort of like a sleeveless waistcoat. I just have to find a black lacy camisole to wear under it and all will be well!
I’m so happy I found something that fits and doesn’t make me look either old or fat. If my son comes back home soon with his camera I will see if I can put some photos up here. I can’t find any online to show you!
The rest of my day has been spent doing the laundry and cleaning the house. How exciting is that? But later this afternoon I’m going to visit my ex boss who is also a friend, so that will be nice.
And tomorrow… well, I have no plans at the moment. We will see what the day brings.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Always thinking...
With a distinct lack of time in mind, this quote seemed apt:
"The Future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." ~C.S. Lewis
"The Future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." ~C.S. Lewis
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Here we go again...
My time off from work is over and it feels as if I’ve never been away. How quickly I managed to fall back into the same routine. Up at 5.30 in the morning, exercises 3 days a week, laundry done, dishwasher emptied, lunches made, then off to work at 7.45 wishing I had left just a little bit earlier to miss all the traffic.
At work I do the same things over and over. Lunch at 12.30 and we all do the quiz in the newspaper. Pack up and leave sometime between 4.15 and 4.30. The same drive, probably with the same traffic. Stop at the supermarket to pick up whatever I’ve run out of. Then home to change, sort the laundry, make dinner and collapse in front of the television. Unless of course, it happens to be one of the days I take my son to football training or do my volunteer work. Next month I will be trying to fit in some study as well.
Weekends, which are reasonable relaxing at the moment, will soon also be over run with activity once basketball and football start up again. Not to mention taking my son to work when he gets a shift. Oh, and my social life has suddenly picked up – I have a wedding to go to in a week and a bit, then the next weekend I’m going out for drinks with some friends.
But I’m glad I’m busy. I hate to think what sort of a couch potato I would turn into if I was occupied most of the time. In my time off, when I wasn’t running around helping my son move out of home, I found it far too easy to stretch out in front of the television watching whatever mindless show was on at the time.
So I do welcome my routine. It keeps me sane.
At work I do the same things over and over. Lunch at 12.30 and we all do the quiz in the newspaper. Pack up and leave sometime between 4.15 and 4.30. The same drive, probably with the same traffic. Stop at the supermarket to pick up whatever I’ve run out of. Then home to change, sort the laundry, make dinner and collapse in front of the television. Unless of course, it happens to be one of the days I take my son to football training or do my volunteer work. Next month I will be trying to fit in some study as well.
Weekends, which are reasonable relaxing at the moment, will soon also be over run with activity once basketball and football start up again. Not to mention taking my son to work when he gets a shift. Oh, and my social life has suddenly picked up – I have a wedding to go to in a week and a bit, then the next weekend I’m going out for drinks with some friends.
But I’m glad I’m busy. I hate to think what sort of a couch potato I would turn into if I was occupied most of the time. In my time off, when I wasn’t running around helping my son move out of home, I found it far too easy to stretch out in front of the television watching whatever mindless show was on at the time.
So I do welcome my routine. It keeps me sane.
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