My online dating experiences or “How to attract losers 101”

Kiki’s comment on my last post made me think about sharing my online dating experiences with you.

For years I’ve communicated with people on the internet, first through Yahoo chat rooms, then MSN, then My Space and now Facebook. So I’m not averse to online communication. In fact there are a couple of people I met on Yahoo chat over 10 years ago that I still chat with on Facebook or email.

I also have two friends who are in long term, loving relationships that began online. One of them met her husband in a Yahoo chat room on my computer. It was the first time she had ever gone into Yahoo chat and he was the first person to contact her! I went to their wedding six years ago and I love them and their two beautiful children. My other friend met her partner in an online dating site – I think it was RSVP. They have now been together for a few years and seem very happy.

I wish I had such good experiences.

Last year, after much thought, I decided I was ready to date again. After all it was five years after the break up of my last intense relationship and ten years after the end of my marriage. I was encouraged by my friends and the two stories above, to try online dating sites.

Now I do have to watch my budget and there isn’t much left after pay day to throw around, so I chose sites that were free. I put up what I thought was a fine, slightly witty description of me, filled in all the blanks and sat back and waited for the replies. The one exception I made was to join eHarmony – the free bits only.

I have to add one thing here – in my description and also in all the blanks I had to complete, I stated very clearly that I do not like fishing, camping or outdoor activities. I wrote that I am a city girl; I like 5 star hotels, gourmet dinners, fine wine, intelligent conversation, cultural happenings and intellectual debates. My music of choice is fairly eclectic, but I do not like country music, grunge or heavy metal. I also made it clear that, as I’m tall, wear heels and feel uncomfortable with shorter men, I’m looking for someone at least 6’1” or taller.

I got replies. I got plenty of replies over the next few months. There was only one problem with all of the replies. Not one of them could read! Or maybe they didn’t bother to read. One is just as bad as the other.

The men who replied to me all enjoyed fishing, they loved camping and spent most of their day in the great outdoors. Not one of them liked gourmet dinners or fine wine. They preferred to slurp on cans of beer and chomp on burnt barbequed sausages. They were also all either country music fans or into heavy metal. As if that wasn’t bad enough, not one of them was over 5’11” in height! I kid you not!

By December last year I had had enough. I took down all my profiles and unsubscribed from all my accounts. I’m sure online dating has worked for many people, but there really has to be another way for me!