Self questioning

There are times, such as now, that I reflect on decisions I’ve made and paths I’ve taken. I question whether the choices I made were the right ones or simply the right ones for that moment in time. Or were they choices that I made based on selfish desires or only on the degree of difficulty they required. Was it easier to make the choices I made than to choose other possibilities?


There are times in my life I would love to travel back to and experience again. Memories which are still sharp, bright with color and explosive to my senses, movies in my mind played back in 3D.

But decisions I’ve made mean I can never travel back to those particular times again. I will never be able to recreate those memories or feel their warmth or color or hear their sounds again. I know I am now creating other memories and I will continue to all through my life. But sometimes I just want to relive those special times.

Some people believe our paths in life are predestined. Some believe we are free to make our own choices. My beliefs lie somewhere in between, although it is difficult for me to articulate exactly what I mean. I believe each of us is predestined with a certain life, but along the way, as we crawl or walk, or leap or run or skip towards our destination, there are a myriad of paths which intersect our journey. Ultimately each path will reach the same destination, but our choice of path dictates the experiences and the memories we will have. Some paths are easier than others, some are more colourful, and some are more dangerous. We don’t necessarily know what we will encounter along each path. We simply have to have faith in our decisions and in our own God or guardian.

These times of reflection I wonder if I had taken another path, what would my memories be now?