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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I feel a bit redundant

Last Thursday my youngest son turned 18 and became an adult. All of a sudden I have no children any more, only adult children. It’s a strange feeling.


I don’t feel any older than I did the week before last and I certainly don’t feel old enough to have adult children. But there you go. These things sneak up on you and pounce when you are least prepared.

Not that I wasn’t prepared. The way my son counted down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until his birthday would have left anyone prepared. I guess what I wasn’t prepared for is that I’m no longer required in the same way as I used to be.

Oh, I still put a roof over their heads and make sure they are fed and their clothes are clean. But I’m not needed as a chauffeur or a guardian or even a companion any more. They turn 18, get their driver’s licence and the right to enter licensed venues and off they go. My job description has changed. Mind you, it might have just improved, I’m not sure yet. I will have to see how it goes and let you know later.

It was easier when my eldest two sons turned 18. With the first I had my other two sons to look after, then the middle one became an adult, but I still had my youngest, now… well, there’s no one left in line! And no, I have absolutely no desire to be a grandparent just yet.

Anyway, to celebrate we went to Melbourne’s Crown Casino complex for dinner followed by a wander through the Casino itself. There was me, my three sons and my eldest son’s girlfriend. It was very satisfying to have my family all together in one place for a change. The meal was good, although the champagne could have been colder, and I think that overall more money was won than lost on the games. I didn’t play any of the games; they don’t interest me that much. But it was fun watching. And it was fun people watching. There are some weird types that frequent the Casino!

I left early. The others stayed for a bit longer, although my youngest son only made it home at 2am! He is definitely enjoying his new independence.

So, my new challenge is to embrace the loss of some of my parental responsibilities and move on. There’s a whole new phase of life out there waiting for me. In the meantime I’ll concentrate on getting my youngest son through to the end of his last year of school.

14 comments:

  1. I know how you feel ... or at least I will in two more years but I've been mentally preparing for a while. My 16-year old is quite independent and once she gets her license she won't really need me at all. Except for food and shelter.

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  2. I have a daughter and she's 5. Not the same thing, but she is now in school all day as she is in grade 1. It's nice seeing her grow and talk about things I know she wouldn't have understood a year ago. I can only imagine what it will be like when she gets older.

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  3. I know where you are coming from, Cassandra. We are mothers till the end BUT I can tell you that you will enjoy the new rhythm of your life once you get used to it.
    We still always mother ( my girls are 23 and 20) our children, we just do it in a different way.
    Ride the emotional wave like we all do then do like the commercial, grab your measuring tape and start planning. :-)

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  4. It's a good thing. You will be able to give you the time you need.

    We've got a casino here too that I have never set foot in though my mom and sister go a few times a year.

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  5. Well congrats on a job well done! I still have three more years before my son hits 18, and I am definitely dreading it. :) I used to work at a casino, and I definitely think people watching was one of the funnest parts of the job. Have a beautiful day! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

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  6. it's a large change when your children get older. try to look at the time for you to enjoy by doing anything that gives you pleasure. As a mother of a much older son, they never go away and there still are things that come up as a parent to help our adult children. thanks for your comment on my post re horses. they are still back and forth getting into the yard. husband still wants to handle this so...rose

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  7. Nostalgia sinks in sometimes, but isn't it nice to treasure the real moments together and to watch our boys grow into good men? Nice post.

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  8. It sounds like an emotional, bittersweet time for you.
    Keep faith.
    xoRobyn

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  9. Aaaah! Exciting and scary yes?

    When my youngest went to college I adopted a dog! At the time I did not see the connection. Hmmm . . . It's hard to turn that mothering off just like that.

    My two girls are now nearly 25 and 28 and I still have to bite my tongue all the time before I say something they really don't want to hear.

    The dog doesn't mind at all!

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  10. After you get over the initial shock, you'll appreciate the additional time you have for yourself.

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  11. Oh, I bet there are odd people who frequent a casino.

    Enjoy the time with your son!

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  12. You will still be very needed (just in other ways). Some days you just need your Mom!!

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  13. Martha - thank you!

    chele - its a daunting feeling isnt it?

    Marnie - I remember that stage! It was challenging too.

    Jamie - I think I'm ready to ride the wave!

    Domestic - I think thats the first time I've been in the casino for about five years.

    kalea - thank you! I do love people watching.

    Rose - you may be right, they may still want me now and again.

    Kazzy - it is nice, thank you!

    Robyn - it is and I will!

    Deborah - I don't think I could get a dog - they are more work than kids!

    Joy - I hope so!

    Writer - there certainly are and I will!

    Kristy - I hope so!

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